I wrote this short book for the many parents in my life, the parents of kids I work with. A lot of these parents are really brilliant, capable, wonderful women and men and despite that I noticed that a lot of them lack the confidence they need to really succeed in life. They feel like they’re failing because they don’t have the jobs they want. The quality of their relationships is not what it could be, what they aspire for it to be. They don’t have true joy or fulfillment in their lives.
From an outside perspective, nothing seems wrong. They carry great intelligence, kindness, tenacity, and so forth. Still, these hard-working, capable people, some being single moms, professional moms, and stay-at-home dads, just don’t see the greatness inside them. I want to help them to rediscover that greatness, not lose sight of themselves. I want people to look in the mirror and see exactly what is possible for them even when they are scared or when times or hard.
Reason One: You Forgot What Makes You Tick
It starts with knowing what you really want your life to be like. What’s your purpose? What makes you want to wake up in the morning? When I talk to people, I ask them about themselves. They’ll give me their name. Then they’ll give me a job title. The answers are so static and one-dimensional, as if there was nothing better to tell. You can tell they’re starved for stimulation, for worthy inspiration.
It’s so different when you ask young people: “Hey! Who are you? What do you do?” They’ll talk about the small stuff briefly, but then they get into their hopes and dreams, about the impact they’re going to have on the world. Just about everyone starts out with this sense of drive. Over time, though, we get worn down. If we’re not in touch with what inspired us when we were 16, 17, or 20, we lose momentum. It makes one think… what drove us to pursue these passions, the ambitions we nurtured when we were younger? When we’re not clear on the forces that drive us then we can never get that power back.
It’s important to remember that everyone has a purpose. While the specifics may change for each of us year to year, the driving forces that make up your personality don’t really change. What lights you up when you’re in your formative years never really dies. What lives deep down inside, making your soul sing and pulling you into your imagined future, still drives you as an adult. Tuning into those forces opens you up to the possibility that, yes, what made you fall madly in love with that special someone and fall madly in love with life and its possibilities, these feelings are still within you. While they may have taken a beating, or maybe you lost sight of them, they are more powerful now than ever. Most importantly, because of these feelings, you are far more capable than you know.
Over the course of this book, we will ask the hard questions: how do you reconnect with your unconscious desires? How do you even tune into the desires that inspire you so, and in turn, could be used to inspire others? After all, you cannot inspire others when you are bored. It just won’t happen.
JOURNAL – Say it, Do It, Live Your Life is intended to help you live a fabulous life not just read how other people have been able to do this. To help you, I have included journal exercises to cause you to think and take action so that this truly affects your life. You can do this in several ways. You can write your answers in a paper journal, print out a pdf copy of our journal or use our online journal. You can get access to our digital files, hints, support and the ability to use our online journal at www.SayItWith.Us.
Take the time now to write down up to 3 values that you admire in yourself, others and aspire to. They could be things like love, connection, hard work, excellence, creativity, …etc. Don’t be too intellectual about these values. Be emotional. Find words that strike a chord with you, that inspire you and touch your heart.
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Reason Two: You Don’t Decide Or Act On Decisions
The other thing I see people majorly struggle with is actualizing great ideas. I listen to them and think, “Whoa, that’s pretty frigging brilliant,” but it stops there; they don’t make a frigging decision! The idea just dies over time. Time and again I hear people go, “Well, I was going to do it…” or “Oh my gosh, I had this great idea…” and they’re fired up for a week, maybe two. Unfortunately, it isn’t long before they talk themselves out of it or let themselves be talked out of it. Other times, they simply get distracted and move on to other things. What’s missing from the whole equation is the ability to take that leap and follow through. Really, follow-through is a simple step. It’s a day-by-day decision to pursue the thing that you decided was so important to you yesterday.
If anything, having confidence in yourself is a prerequisite to strong decision-making skills. I’ve noticed that most people lack many of the prerequisites needed to find and maintain success, professionally or otherwise. It’s not that they’re incapable; they just never fully realized what they are or took the time to develop a complete self-identity.
Interestingly, for most people, it doesn’t take that long to develop their identity. When it comes to creating visible change, we’re talking about (maybe) 20 to 30 days of habit-forming practices. That’s all you need to really take your life to the next level, to up personal performance, reach the next level of passion and confidence, and so much more. It will really shift the way that you live life so that you say to yourself, “Whoa, my life is expanding. I’m really going somewhere in life.”
Maybe it will scare you a little bit if your partners, friends, and admirers notice more of what you do, maybe raising an eyebrow like, “Oh, what’s up with you?” and talking about you more. That happens, not because you are doing anything wrong, but because people can’t help but notice your greatness, too. Even if people get jealous or make you uncomfortable, do not let that decelerate your growth, they are just being reactionary. Their impact can’t and should not compare to you living fully. Following your core desire, having meaningful days every day and walking through life with confidence, it’s just so exciting. It’s so hot. I want that for you. Formidable
Journal: What is a decision you have been putting off that you could make by bedtime tomorrow? Write it down and take one concrete action that will get that ball rolling. The first step is always the hardest and so even if this is a small decision, say what it is, do something to make it happen, and get your life moving.
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Reason 3: The Author Of Your Life Is Meh
Another thing I’ve noticed about people who have everything it takes to have extraordinary lives, except for these few missing ingredients, is that they often have terrible stories. I’m not talking about their hardships, but the richness of their daily experiences. When you talk to someone like that about their day, their lives, or their marriage, the stories they tell are so disempowering. They’re just chewing the fat, nothing more. It leads you to feel the deadness and boredom. it’s almost depressing.
One of the things we’re going to do in Say It, Do It, Love Your Life  is teaching you to tell your truth. Living the life you yearn for starts with changing the way you talk about it. You are the narrator in your life’s story; you have the power to make it worth hearing (and worth living). Sometimes, all it takes is finding a story you already have and tweaking it. You may need to be a little more adventuresome, explore the many truths behind your experiences, and really push yourself until your life is full of the stories that naturally inspire you and those around you.
Where Do You Start?
I want you to think carefully. What could your life be like if you knew exactly why you were here, on Earth? How much could you accomplish if you knew you couldn’t fail? If you could make decisions and follow through, moving confidently from the first step to the very last without hesitation or self-doubt, how much could you do in just one day?
How would your life begin to align with your principles? How coherent and cohesive would your lifestyle become if every day went towards fulfilling your dreams and towards celebrating the people you love? What would your life look like down the road, perhaps in 30 days? How about in 60 days? What would life be like in six months from now?
For you to have those kind of results, we must first develop a deep, lasting trust within yourself to free you from the crushing weight of self-doubt. The doubts and worries that kept you down in the past are small and petty compared to the magnificent life you’re going to live!
Journal: Take the time to jot down on this page, in your journal or online at SayItWith.Us what you would love to have in your life in 30 days, 60 days and then in 6 months. Write as if you were operating at your best in that time. People are most likely to be extraordinary when they accept extraordinary demands.
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